The Nine Parenting Myths that Trap Us in Worry and Guilt
Myth #1 “Having Children Will Make You Happy and Fulfilled” - Discovering God’s Real Purpose in Giving Us Children. Our culture, both mainstream and church, subtly promise that children come to bring us happiness and fulfillment. But God does not promise this. Following God’s own parenting story and the startling story of Samson reveals God’s greater purposes in giving us children.
Myth #2 “Nurturing Your Child is Natural and Instinctive” - Why Biblical Love is so Difficult to Live Out Currently, there is a resurgence in the belief of the “natural parent” who nurtures aided by their God-given instincts. At the same time, many parents are shocked to discover how difficult it can be to consistently love their child. What has gone wrong? Discover why true biblical love will always challenge us beyond our own instincts.
Myth #3 “Parenting is Your Highest Calling” - How Pursuing God First Frees Us to Love Our Children More In response to the disintegration of the family and the declining value on children and Life, the church and Christian media has risen up to serve, defend and protect the family. One unintended result is the emergence of “the cult of the family.” An overemphasis on the nuclear family feeds one of our greatest temptations: to love our children more than God. The Abraham and Isaac story and a shocking exchange between Jesus and a mother return us to the highest calling upon our lives.
Myth #4 "Good Parenting Leads to Happy Children" - Exchanging Shallow Hopes for God’s Deeper Purposes The majority of Americans, when asked what they most desire for their children, respond, “their happiness.” Within the broader church, we often parent with the same goal in mind: our children’s happiness, assuming as well that good and godly parenting will produce this desired outcome. God, however, parents with another outcome in mind. God’s own parenting in the Old Testament and the Beatitudes in the New both reveal God’s greatest goal for our parenting.
Myth #5 “If You Find Parenting Difficult, You must Not Be Following the Right Plan” - Learning to Rely on God Rather Than Formulas Many believe that the Bible is a comprehensive child-rearing manual, yet there are more verses on the treatment of mold than raising children. In this silence, authors and parents have tried to tease out from isolated Scripture verses a one-size-fits-all model of parenting that can even be dangerous. Find out what God does give us, even in the Scriptural silences, to enable us to parent faithfully and well.
Myth #6 “You Represent Jesus to Your Children” - How We Trap Ourselves in a Role We Weren’t Meant to Play Many of us believe that “We are the hands and feet of Jesus to our children,” and “We are the first Jesus our children will know.” Ironically, in our desire to be Jesus to our family, we can undermine the very gift we hope to give. We can assume an authority and omniscience over our children that is Christ’s authority alone. Or we can err in the other direction and slavishly serve our children, to their own harm. God’s word shows us a better way to live out Jesus in our homes.
Myth #7 “You Will Always Feel Unconditional Love for Your Children” - How Our False Ideas of Love Burden Us With Guilt When parents experience negative feelings for their children, they often feel guilty and scared. Where is the unconditional love I expected to feel for my child? But many of us are laboring under a false, Hollywood-ized version of love that is based on good feelings alone. God’s love for his children, demonstrated throughout the Old and New Testament, embraces a full range of emotions, including anger, frustration, hurt, and sorrow. Discover what true Biblical love looks like, and why this love not only allows for these more complex feelings toward our children, but requires them at times.
Myth #8 “Successful Parents Produce Godly Children” - The Danger of Making Too Much of Us and Too Little of God One popular writer admonishes parents to “produce spiritual champions.” Like him, most Christians measure the success of their parenting by how their children turn out. By this measure, God himself does not pass our parenting test. A survey of God’s life as a parent, and a closer look at the spiritual champions listed in the New Testament reveal an entirely different measure of “successful” parenting, one that is attainable by every believer.
Myth #9 “God Approves of Only One Family Design” - Why God is Not Limited by Imperfect Families We all desire to create a godly Christian home, yet many of us, despite our great efforts, feel like we have failed God’s ideal. How then can our children become godly adults in our less-than-perfect homes? An in-depth look at the many diverse, dysfunctional and imperfect families in the Scriptures---and God’s work among them---remind us that our family limitations never limit God.